Skip to content

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? – RHOBH recap – 9-11

Broads On Point/

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

This week on wealthy white ladies kiki and argue, Teddi and Kyle are taking their daughters Slate and Portia to a kiddy make-up shoot. The Hollywood is at ten from the first frame of this week’s episode. Basically, Portia is really into make-up and did Teddi’s on her Insta. Samantha from Petite and Pretty, a kid’s make-up line, saw this, frothed at the mouth at what this could do for her brand, and invited the kids to a shoot. Teddi says when she was a kid, she had no idea about make-up and dyed her hair aubergine while screaming at her mom that she was stifling her style when she was, rightly, horrified about her daughter’s ugly hair color. Sounds about right for a teenager. Kyle gets a text from Camille about her bridesmaid’s dress. It’s a capped sleeve. Kyle is NOT happy. I wish these were my problems.

Rinna is at home talking to Harry Hamlin on the phone. She’s happy he’s back from camping as he takes over all the household jobs when he’s there. She FaceTimes with Erika, who’s wearing killer Gucci shades. Erika is mega excited about how well her tour is going. The ladies talk about the dinner Erika missed for Lois that Vanderpump didn’t show up to. Rinna thinks it needs to be her who reaches out with an olive branch to fix the current beef.

At Diamond’s Gym, Denise and her snack of a hubby Aaron are working out. It was hard for me to remember what happened in this scene because Aaron’s biceps kept talking to me. The things I do for journalism. Denise informs us that she and Aaron have sex every morning, not jealous at all. Denise wants to mediate with the whole Vanderpump situation and is going to have lunch with her later that week. She has a strong urge to try and fix things after her experience with her ex, Charlie Sheen. She talks about how worried she is that she’s fucked her kids up because of the whole mess with him and starts to cry. She says that when it got really bad with Charlie, she hid it from the kids and isn’t sure if that was the right move.

Dorit is in the car with her kids who are singing loudly and out of tune. No. Just no. She’s going to have lunch at Kyle’s house. Sitting in Kyle’s beautiful garden, the ladies discuss the upcoming Boy George concert. Dorit hasn’t invited Vanderpump because she doesn’t want to crowd her right now if she wants to keep her distance.

Lisa is at home talking about how cathartic her new kitchen is. The way I am over this woman right now. We get it, your new kitchen is going to mend your friendships. She goes to lunch with Denise at Villa Blanca and gives her some $400 pink porcelain vases as a wedding gift. I’d be looking for the receipt to exchange them because they’re hideous, but Denise seems to love them. Hey ho. Horses for courses, I guess. Denise tells Lisa she seems better than the last time they met, and she tries to remind her that the ladies still love and care for her.

Back in Kyle’s garden, she and Dorit discuss the fact that Lisa and Denise are meeting. Kyle says that Denise’s experience with her ex Charlie may have given her insight because he and Vanderpump are both Virgos, which means they’re very “me me me”. Shady palm trees Kyle.

At Villa Blanca, Denise relates her experience with the press during her divorce to Lisa’s current situation. She says that instead of hiding away, Lisa should face the women. Lisa says she handles things differently.

Kyle thinks Lisa is running scared. She believes that friends should call each other out when they fuck up. That’s how a friendship grows.

Lisa doesn’t think friends should come for each other, as she perceives Kyle did for her.

Kyle says whenever Lisa is confronted with her BS she turns and runs away (we see several flashbacks of her doing just that in previous seasons). She makes it hard to talk to her. Dorit doesn’t understand why she has been cut out by Lisa when she hasn’t done anything wrong.

Lisa says the current situation is a “shame.” Denise can’t understand why she doesn’t want to defend herself. I think she’s beginning to smell a rat underneath all of Lisa’s seeming niceness and ugly pink gifts

The scene ends as Jagger pees into Kyle’s bushes. Kind of sums up what I think about this whole stupid fight they’re all having at the moment. Well done Jagger

Teddi’s at home with the kids getting ready to host the housewives before they go to the Boy George concert at the Greek Theater. Rinna and Erika come over and are joined by Kyle and Camille. Camille is pissed at Rinna for the way she went in on her about the Judge Kavanagh situation at Lois’s dinner. Apparently, she doesn’t hold grudges though. And I have a ten-inch penis, shares in Apple, and a house on Nantucket.

Dorit arrives at the theater to meet PK backstage before the concert. He tells her he has contacted Ken. He’s arranged to have lunch with him. We see a cutaway of their conversation where PK sucks up to Ken and tells him to distinguish between Dorit and the other women.

In the van on the way to the concert the women talk about Erika’s tour. She’s just flown in for the night and is heading to Dallas, and then San Francisco for more concerts. Then she‘s hosting at the AMAs as well. Boss. The ladies get annoyed at Camille for playing both sides of the fence in the Vanderpump beef. She knew Lisa was invited to her bridal shower but claimed not to when she spoke to Lisa about it. Fix up Camille.

Backstage at the concert the Housewives meet Boy George, Kyle loves him. Rinna throws shady jabs about the fact that Lisa isn’t there supporting her so called good friend PK. We see a cutaway of Lisa making sex noises and talking about how she worships something. We then see she’s talking to her dog flopsy or mopsy or whatever it’s called. She then literally French kisses the creature and I am officially done with her. Keep the deposit, no forwarding address. Done. Dorit tells the ladies that PK has spoken to Ken and Kyle thinks it’s a good idea.

Denise is at home with her kids and Aaron eating dinner. They are ALL drinking water from individual plastic bottles. I’m putting on my European environmental hat here for a minute. In every damn show I watch on US TV, people are always drinking water from single use plastic bottles. Do you guys not have glasses in America or something? These things are destroying our planet. Get off your fat asses, walk to the cupboard, and pull out a fucking glass. Nemo will thank you. Ok sorry. Rant over. Returning to dinner at Denise’s, she talks about how she had no pre-nup with Charlie because she was never about his money (“greedy fucking whore” is the term she uses). But now she’s worried because he’s filed to pay less child support.

At the concert, Camille is dancing like a stripper, here for it. Rinna is also dancing, in a somewhat stiffer fashion shall we say? All the ladies love “margarita” Kyle, which is when she gets drunk and tries to act like a black woman. I’m not such a fan. But there’s a fun atmosphere in the air and it’s nice to see the women actually getting on for once. Gladys Knight performs an amazing duet with Boy George and everyone’s having shits and giggles

Backstage after the concert, everyone is celebrating with Boy George. PK throws a majorly shady jab at Kyle about the fact she’s not able to stop her friends (Vanderpump) being pissed off at her. Tumbleweeds. He tries to cover it up by blaming it on, “British humor” but it doesn’t wash. Kyle is majorly pissed and doesn’t understand why PK is annoyed with her, given that she has been sticking up for Dorit this whole time. PK is an arrogant misogynist in my opinion. I don’t like the way he talks to women and I’ve met a hundred dudes like him of the same ilk from London. They’re all the same. He refuses to apologize to Kyle and just dismisses her out of hand. The ladies leave.

Outside by their van, they discuss what’s just happened. Kyle thinks PK kisses Ken’s ass. I agree. Dorit comes out and tries to diminish her husband’s major faux pas. There’s a great cutaway with Rinna where she tells us she doesn’t believe PK’s bullshit “British humor” excuse. Just like her he’s a shit stirrer. Rinna knows all. Loving me some Rinna this season. When she’s not at the center of the beef and just hovers around the edge offering choice shady comments, she’s hysterical. Teddy tries to interject in Dorit and Kyle’s conversation, and Dorit shuts her down brutally. Teddi is not happy about this and their old difficulties start to come to the fore again. The argument kind of switches to them as they thrash out an eventual agreement. Basically, they handle conflict in totally different ways. Eventually Kyle accepts Dorit’s apology on behalf of her husband, but she bookends it with a “fuck you” to him.

Posted in

Broads On Point

Scroll To Top