How to survive a Berlin visit.

Some people call Las Vegas sin city. Those people are idiots, don’t listen to them. Seriously, delete them from your contacts and listen to us. Berlin is the original city of excess and debauchery. They’ve been getting buck wild in the German capital since the 1920s and long before. And while many people may not associate Germany with sexiness and naughty behaviour, we can assure you that a trip here would make even the most hardened ho blush! So, here’s our little guide to enjoying Berlin (and making it out alive)…

Stop smiling

Berliners are a tough bunch. I mean come on, they’ve dealt with Hitler, Stalin, and the wall. Not to mention the freezing winters. They’ve got zero time for your daisy chain, hold hands and skip through a field of flowers, SoCal vibes. Happy, smiley people are mistrusted here. You remember Daria from MTV? She’d fit right in.

Wear black

It’s a religion here. Black on black on black. Black Jack. Black is beautiful. Black don’t crack. And in the summer? You wear your summer black. DUH!

Stop staring

If you go out to a club here, chances are you’re gonna see some stuff, sexual stuff (there’s a passing chance you might slip on some stuff too). People feel no way here about getting amorous in the club. Be it in the toilets, some dark, sweaty corner, or hell, even on the dance floor. Sex is everywhere in Berlin’s nightlife, but it’s considered the height of rudeness to stare, or even (gasp) take pics. Put the camera down Wendy and close your mouth. It’s just people fucking.

Get outside

Contrary to what you’ve just read above, Berlin does have a softer side. It’s surrounded by beautiful woods and lakes, and in the summer you can easily reach many of them by public transport. There’s nothing better on a hot summer’s day then heading out with your friends for a day at the lake. Just watch out for all the nudists! Eyes front dear, it’s just naked people.